Why Some Managers Let Bullies Run Wild and How It Hurts Everyone
I think we can all agree that workplace bullying is awful. Unfortunately, I doubt there are any of us who have not experienced it in some way, shape, or form. You would hope (if not expect) managers to step in, lay down the law, and fix things. After all, that’s their job, right?
Shockingly, many take the easy way out. Instead of addressing the bully head-on, their focus shifts to convincing the bullied to “just deal with it.”
It’s a lazy move that causes lasting damage. And it makes you wonder: Why do managers do this?
The Easiest Fix Isn’t the Right One
Picture this: a bully on the team creates drama left and right. Everyone’s on edge. But instead of calling out the toxic behavior, the manager pulls the bullied employee aside and says things like:
“Try not to take it personally.”
“Maybe they didn’t mean it that way.”
Sound familiar?
Why does this happen? Because confronting a bully takes guts and effort. Bullies are usually loud, intimidating, or well-connected. Tackling their behavior feels like a big risk, so managers might avoid it if they can get away with a quick “pep talk” to the person who’s hurt. It’s a band-aid fix, but hey, out of sight, out of mind.
Why Bullies Get a Free Pass
Managers enabling bullies is more common than we’d like to admit. Here’s why:
Bullies Have Power: Some bullies are the office big shots, and managers don’t want to rock the boat.
Avoiding Conflict: Managers might just hate awkward conversations. Calling out a bully is stressful, so they sidestep it altogether.
Bias at Play: A bully’s confidence might be mistaken for leadership. Meanwhile, the bullied gets labeled as “too sensitive.” It’s messed up, but all too common.
The Real Cost of Avoidance
When managers don’t step up, the bullied employee starts doubting themselves. They think:
“Am I overreacting?”
“Maybe I just need to toughen up.”
Spoiler: they’re not overreacting.
But the damage doesn’t stop there. Teams notice when bullies get away with bad behavior. Morale tanks. Trust evaporates. Productivity takes a nosedive. And the good people? They leave. Suddenly, that "little issue" becomes a big, expensive problem.
A Better Way to Handle Bullies
Good leaders don’t take the easy way out. They take the right one. Here’s how:
Listen First: Validate the person who’s being bullied. A simple, “I hear you, and this isn’t okay,” goes a long way.
Address the Behavior: Pull the bully aside and call it like it is. Set boundaries and enforce consequences if they cross the line again.
Rebuild Trust: Show the bullied employee (and the whole team) that you’re serious about creating a safe environment. Actions speak louder than words here.
Change the Culture: Make it clear that bullying won’t fly. Ever! Policies and training help, but follow-through is what really counts.
Quick Manager Self-Check
Ask yourself:
Have I ever brushed off a bullying complaint as “personality conflict”?
Have I ever focused more on the target’s reaction than the bully’s behavior?
Have I ignored a bully’s actions because they “get results”?
Do I avoid conflict under the guise of “keeping the peace”?
If you answered yes to any of these, it’s time to course-correct.
Final Thoughts
Managing bullies is tough, but that’s part of leadership.
You can’t just tell people to “deal with it” and hope for the best. If you’ve ever been in a situation like this, you know how frustrating it feels. And if you’re a manager? Be better. Don’t let fear or laziness stop you from doing what’s right.
Because at the end of the day, people thrive where they feel respected. And isn’t that what we all want?
What are your thoughts? Have you experienced workplace bullying or seen it handled (or mishandled) by leadership? Share your perspective in the comments! Let’s discuss how we can make workplaces safer and healthier for everyone.
At Luminspire, we help leaders build cultures where safety, trust, and respect aren’t just words; they’re the standard.
Want help shifting your leadership culture? Let’s talk!